Saturday October 5th, 2019 | Jericho Turf
Westside Strikers

Westside Strikers

  • G. Lytton (3')
1 2
Westside Strikers

Coquitlam Metro Ford Lupi

  • A. Peat (54')
  • M. Mobilio (75')
Match Report, VMSL 1st Division

anything by Oasis

…and with that, the final whistle blew signalling an end to the Strikers valiant short-handed effort.

Nate Baker and Joe Brooker combined admirably to scour the field and return with 1 of the required 4 corner flags showing once again that while they make exquisite lovers, their team work leaves much to be desired.  The strikers cheering section was in full-force as Fortress Jericho teemed with numbers once again this time politely trying to explain why the Strikers were oh-so-unlucky, and were certain to ‘get them next time’.  Jamie Allester put in an impressive shift out wide managing to take in most of the 2nd half of the 2nd half and nearly even finding his way onto the field.  Joe Brooker fresh off of injury hustled, harangued, and generally covered every blade of turf in his albeit fruitless attempt at moving his teammates along to the Cove.  Tactics were discussed, plans were hatched, and the Strikers had all the direction they needed.  They were ready to go to war.

Players and supporters alike started to arrive wondering aloud where the tunes were and very quickly if Bryan’s choices were just too cool for them to understand, or if perhaps a mistake had been made.  Per tradition they quietly settled on the former and went on with their polite conversations.

Nearing the end of the first half, the dad(dy) contingent delighted and amazed the fans with their arrival to provide exactly the energy the group needed to push-on in search of their ultimate goal.  Stu did as he has done for many many years and sprinted out in front with a 10/10 performance.  Baris, otherwise a bright light in a sea of fools, will be questioning some of his own tactics by encouraging Dobie to corner him in a dark room.

Summer Season darlings Jeremiah and James Baker gave their everything in an attempt to raise the spirit of their winter time pals, and were whole-throatily successful.

Coop came exactly as the experts had promised, on-time, with company, and requiring only the green flavour of Pre-Game to be at his baffling best.

For all the team’s positives though, it seemed perhaps the eyes of a few strikers had gone wandering.  Would it be that one feline-familiar striker was to do all the scoring, or would more than one find their names on the scoresheet?   Sky Sports panel later asked if it was appropriate sportsmanship to steal a teammate’s headgear for one’s own benefit and went further in the debate to ask if he had in fact ‘worn it better’?

Paul sitting on two yellow cards for the season recognized that a third would sit him on the sidelines and was on his very best behaviour, while not sacrificing any of his trademark intensity or efficacy.

Fresh off a sexy 5 km race time, and 32 years of existence, Foster Hart showed off every ounce of class that supporters have cum to love over many years of admiration of the Claret, White, and Sky Blue legend.

The business end of the evening had arrived and it was time for all to put forward their best attitudes.  The table was magically covered in red plastic cups and as if well-practiced, all in attendance quickly devoted a trance like fixation.  Sadly this focus could not always be applied to the rules, or sporting-nature of the game and the referees used every tool available to them to check-up on offenders.  With wonderful luck, no official surgeries were required at least not within sight of this pundit.

Midnight hit and per a pre-arranged time limit, the house-party came to a close.  A mere 98 minutes were required to clear the group and move on to the next destination.

Like a disjointed pack of zombie idiots, the team made their way to the finest Caberet Vancouver’s Kingsway has to offer.  But on this occasion all of their best attempts were found thwarted by the large, imposing wall of the opposition.  A quick regroup found the Sky Blues back on their feet and taking on a new opposition in the regally appointed 12 Kings.  This opposition proved no match for the now quickly engorged Strikers as the total bar’s ring-out total was doubled in the 5 minute injury-time last-call period.  Nate Baker then showed his fancy footwork in an attempt to draw a penalty and even managed to convince one of his teammates into hitting the ground like a sack of skim milk.  The referee not only waved away their claims for a late spot-kick, but he proceeded to mock the would-be heroes for their acrobatic attempts.  VAR would later show enough contact to warrant the gravitational advance, but was unable to prove the need for both Strikers hit the earth.

With the squad now splintering quicker than it takes Dylan to produce a headband, the pundit can only be left to wonder which version of John Wick delighted observers back at venue 179.  Meanwhile, Bryan and Tara allowed a bag of misfit toys over to their hand-made abode and offered miniature individual Whiskey’s from a craft burlap advent calendar (seriously you cant make this stuff up) to all those brave enough to indulge (exclusively Dave Berney).  Taxi’s were called, waters were chugged, and neighbours were apologized to.  Until the very end, supporters could be heard belting out their favourite hymns “for Andy Dunn, I want to play for Andy Dunn!” and anything by Oasis.  The Strikers, while slightly more fractured than they can be, were in a different league to all of their Div 1 opposition and look well poised to continue their multi-year streak of success.

While certain absent Strikers (both excused and otherwise) missed and were missed, their collective implied thrust was just the impact the team needed to get over the finish line.

Despite his refusal to engage a full rendition of the beloved Tracy Chapman’s fast car, MOM went to Conor O’Malley who showed no rust despite his injury lay-off.

Honorable mentions must be made of Gavin for going the entire match without so much as a talking-to for unspeakable behaviour.  Antonia too must be recognized for avoiding a fight with the world’s nicest and most lovely man Conor.

Iens Efficio Vos,

DW